Supervillains shouldn't use Windows

I haven't worked with Windows in about 10 years & now I'm trying to help a friend out by 'fixing' his desktop pc for him.
What has been reinforced during this trying time is that Winblow$ is not worth the hassle at all & every supervillain or supervillain-in-training shouldn't use it!
It's about as steady as Paris Hilton's intellect & as secure as Lindsay Lohan's career. The only thing reliable about it is its unreliability!
If you're planning world domination, you don't want to store your To Do List on something that is easily compromised. Any half-wit minion could hack it & get access to Things To Say At First Press Conference When The World Is Mine.doc.
If you're going to be a successful Supervillain, you need something far more reliable & secure - so install Ubuntu instead!