Dear Hollywood, please make it stop!

Before Blue Steel there was Blue Bay!

Rumours of a Baywatch movie have been circulating ever since The Hoff figured out that he could ride the meme wave with the same combination of a bad wardrobe & a cheesy grin that propelled him from Nightrider to international boob & bay-watcher, all those years ago.
This was, of course, before he decided to conquer all of Germany with his vocal chords, chest hair & a pair of specially-tailored lederhosen...


But back to Baywatch, which is apparently the most-watched TV series in the history of TV so far - according to the Guinness Book of World Records it had over 1.1 billion viewers.
Naturally The Hoff has been ever so keen to cash in on the old fan base, while drawing in younger fans with more relevant actors. Unfortunately the rumours seem to be gaining momentum & it looks like the 'project' is going ahead, despite the loud groaning of those of us who know that some things are better left in the past, as vague memories. And in the case of Baywatch, extremely vague!
To make matters worse, it looks like the cast will include two of the most annoying pop singers on the planet; Justin Timberlake & Justin Bieber. Either being a pop star is a prerequisite to being a 'movie star' these days, or they're struggling to find actual actors willing to commit to sharing a fake dressing room with David 'Chicken Legs' Hasselhoff & Pamela 'I Have No Shame' Anderson. There's also a strong possibility that they're negotiating a discount on soundtrack songs from the two & starring roles are the trade off.
Reasons aside, it won't matter who finally signs up to star in the movie, it's certainly not going to be award-winning stuff & I for one, hope that production is constantly interrupted by large groups of sharks prowling along the coastline, waiting for their chance to see if The Hoff tastes like chicken.