The rules of a breakup

source: www.good.is

I came across this little cartoon/illustration earlier today & it made me smile.
I can totally relate, as of 4 weeks ago when (after almost a year) I experienced one of the most ridiculous breakups in the book - in fact, it's so unbelievably stupid that it really does belong in a book. Or on a brick, thrown through a certain idiot's window.
But alas, I have managed to restrain myself & find rather creative ways to vent my frustration on the matter. Details & pics of these will probably eventually find their way onto here ;-)
It has, however, reminded me of how vital it is to retain your sense of humour, even through the bad times. It's also important to find someone who truly appreciates your sense of humour, can laugh at themselves & doesn't take life too seriously.
So enjoy the illustration, I know we've all been there :-)

The 3 "P"s: People, Passwords & Protection

A colleague of mine is pretty old-school. She's not as bad as her technophobe husband, but still; she writes down everything the IT support guys tell her. And I mean everything...
She once gave me the alarm code & then asked if I needed to write it down. Of course, I have 2 issues with that kind of thing; 1) unless you have the memory capacity of a tadpole, remembering 4 digits for roughly 30 minutes isn't hard & 2) writing a pass code down on a piece of paper is not secure!
This brings me to her recent revelation about passwords to a new member of staff. Apparently the "greatest risk" to companies "right now" is the hacking of their intellectual property.
While I agree that the security of IP is a risk that organisations & individuals should be concerned about, I think it is one of a few major risks, but not the biggest risk out there. Events in recent years have shown that things like floods, earthquakes, tsunamis, economic crises & planes flying into buildings, can have equally devastating effects on organisations - even countries!
But, moving along to the most shocking part of the revelation: Mrs Meticulous (as henceforth she shall be known) keeps a file on her laptop with her login passwords to sites she uses. Said file is in .doc format & for extra added security, the name is purposefully unrelated to the word "password" or any of its associations.
So instead of typing in her password every time, she copies & pastes her username and password into the login fields.
Her reasoning for this is that "people can hack or monitor while you type, but they can't hack your copy & paste".
Riiiiight!
The Windows clipboard can be 'hacked', specially if you're using Internet Explorer - made even more easily accessible by the fact that she is running a much older version of Windows too!
Not only that - but Mrs Meticulous has a file with login details stored on the laptop! She also has written notes kept in a little plastic A4 folder on her desk. The notes contain ALL her passwords, access details to all the laptops, the company server & the router...
It's like going away on holiday & leaving your house keys outside, next to a sign that says: "Free entry. All welcome".
The lack of common sense here astounds me!
Unfortunately Ms Meticulous is not alone in this. There are numerous people who throw caution to the wind when it comes to IT-related matters & don't apply simple logic to situations.
Yes, computers, gadgets & the internet may at times be complex, but simple common sense can go a long way!
So get some & apply it!

PS: Ms Meticulous also keeps a file on her laptop with all her family & company credit card details...!

Grin & Bear Grylls it

So everyone's favourite Macguyver guy Bear Grylls has apparently been fired by the Discovery Channel over "contract disputes"
Oddly enough, I saw an unrelated article on him earlier today & was reminded of how much he freaks me out.
I have no idea how his wife copes - he exposes his body & his mouth to all manner of gross things & frankly I wouldn't touch him with a 30ft pole, for fear that his frog or zebra breath would overpower me at that distance.
I can't imagine what happens when he gets home after one of his trips, but if it was me, I'd confine him to a decontamination chamber for a good few days first, insist that he scrubs his mouth out with bicarb, bleach & dettol repeatedly, and ensure that his entire body is scrubbed raw with all manner of cleaning chemicals over & over.
While you can find plenty of information on Bear Grylls' accomplishments & expeditions, I'd love to see a list of all the diseases & illnesses he's managed to pick up during his illustrious career as the Man Who Will Eat Anything.
But while I'm not much of a fan, I'm sure Grylls will have tons of offers from other broadcasting channels who are keen to cash in on his willingness to go naked in inhospitable environments.
Until then, people will just have to settle for reruns. :-)

Well I would've succeeded, if it wasn't for those pesky Ozzy spies!

So it was revealed today that a squadron of super-skilled, super-secret Australian SAS soldiers have been "operating at large in Africa, performing work normally done by spies".

Apparently, their "operations have raised serious concerns within the Australian military and intelligence community because they involve countries where Australia is not at war."

Really????

This explains a few things, like back in December 2008 when Robert Mugabe said that the cholera outbreak in Zimbabwe was a result of British & American forces poisoning their pristine water supplies...

These guys must've been pretty busy over the last few years, what with all the cholera outbreaks across Zimbabwe - so much poisoning to do & such little time! Plus it must've been hard putting on American or British accents with their thick ozzie ones.

So while these Bruces have been mucking about across Africa, how on earth did the Australian government not notice that an entire SAS squadron chose Harare as their top holiday destination?!?!?
And what exactly have they been doing in Nigeria, Zimbabwe & Kenya - investigating the countries for strategic sheep purposes???
In the words of Steve Irwin: "Crikey mate! What a whopper!"

Of Mars & Men

So over the weekend I went to see 2 completely different movies: John Carter & Safe House.
The first, John Carter (henceforth known as JC) has been getting all sorts of mixed press. Apparently the movie has been on the cards for 100 years, with this year being a century since the first story by Edgar Rice Burroughs was published.
So in other words, it's the platinum jubilee of the character JC - he's been 'alive' for 40 years longer than the Queen has been on the throne. Fortunately Taylor Kitsch is much more pleasing on the eye than Her Majesty & he doesn't wave like someone's actually forcing him to, with a puppeteer's stick attached at the elbow.
Another fortunate thing about the movie is that Willem Dafoe's animated alien creature is far less scary-looking than he is in real life.
All in all the movie is 1 big great adventure & lots of fun. I keep seeing bad reviews for it where people say: "but it's not Avatar." Of course in my opinion, going to a movie entitled John Carter & looking for skinny blue people & Sigourney Weaver is a little daft.
Go watch John Carter & expect adventurous fun & the elements of classic Victorian sci-fi.

As for Safe House, it was filmed in Cape Town, of all places. So there are plenty of Souff Efrikan elements that'll keep you chuckling through the movie.
Basically, it's Denzel Washington in yet another one of his stereotypical roles, so expect to see him as you've never always seen him before! Ryan Reynolds on the other hand, manages to prove that he can act - after his annoying performance in Green Lantern.
Plot-wise it's predictable, right down to identity of the bad guy - the writers & directors have clearly taken a lot of cues from the Borne movies, including the gritty hand-held camera style.
On the whole, it was fun to watch, but I think that's because I kept chuckling at the local elements and how quickly & competently the police responded to crime scenes. Take out those amusing elements & I think I would've fallen asleep in the cinema, or resorted to throwing popcorn at my fellow movie-goers.
Also, watching Ryan Reynolds praat die taal is damn hilarious! But save Safe House for your dvd rental night & go watch John Carter on the big screen :-)

Only the Japanese...

Women who have just finished ovulating are better at detecting snakes than at other times of their menstrual cycle, according to an unusual study that sheds light on in-built reflexes for survival.
Nobuo Masataka of Japan's Kyoto University tested 60 healthy women of child-bearing age at three different phases of their cycle

 Really?!?!?
So how quickly you spot snakes depends on whether you're female & what time of the month it is. Also of note is the fact that Japan is not known for snakes & is still recovering from a devastating tsunami that left 13 500 dead.
Surely there are other ways to spend your time...?

Sometimes SuperVillains get busy & distracted... for long periods of time

So it's been ages, I mean AGES since I posted regularly.
I blame it on lots of personal ups & downs & pure laziness.
I need to start writing again because soon there'll be tons of stuff happening that I'll really want to share...
For now, it's back to a SuperVillain take on local & international happenings.

Supervillains shouldn't use Windows

I haven't worked with Windows in about 10 years & now I'm trying to help a friend out by 'fixing' his desktop pc for him.
What has been reinforced during this trying time is that Winblow$ is not worth the hassle at all & every supervillain or supervillain-in-training shouldn't use it!
It's about as steady as Paris Hilton's intellect & as secure as Lindsay Lohan's career. The only thing reliable about it is its unreliability!
If you're planning world domination, you don't want to store your To Do List on something that is easily compromised. Any half-wit minion could hack it & get access to Things To Say At First Press Conference When The World Is Mine.doc.
If you're going to be a successful Supervillain, you need something far more reliable & secure - so install Ubuntu instead!

A long, long time ago in a galaxy far away

So it's been almost a year since my last post & the answer to "What have you been doing all this time?" is simply this: procrastinate, procrastinate, procrastinate!
There's also been plenty of travelling to & fro, working, a fleeting enthusiasm for soccer (on account of the World Cup being hosted locally), laughs, tears, trying times & some photography.
During last year, I have given the occasional thought to this blog & how I should start it up again, so I've decided to go ahead with it again & make another effort at posting regularly.
I've been doing a lot of writing for clients - which tends to take the joy out of the process a lot, so I've decided to make this my creative outlet again & a place where I can renew my love or writing, ranting, raving & the opportunity to reveal my crazy inner-workings to the world.
Please be warned, you read this blog at your own risk...

Chicago is a looooooong way from here

WGN is Chicago's very own broadcasting station with its own news.
Clearly the journalists over there need some geography lessons, judging from the screen cap I was forwarded.
Of course, it's very easy to confuse South America with South Africa, what with both of them being south & all that stuff.
I suppose if you flip South America on its vertical axis, it'd look just like Africa - which means that maybe the person who is responsible for this gross geographical blunder, is dyslexic...
Unfortunately for the poor news anchor here, it looks like he's the dufus responsible for the mistake because his mug is right next to the offending picture.
Way to go WGN!