With big hair comes big generosity

The band with one of the biggest hairspray endorsements in the 80s, is coming to South Africa in May next year. Yehp, Bon Jovi are gracing us with their presence, though the luscious long locks, have long since gone ladies.
But while their hair has thinned out, their hearts have clearly grown bigger & the band has decided to help out fans by dramatically cutting ticket prices for their UK shows. This is apparently in response to the furor caused by the Rolling Stones, who are charging an exorbitant amount for their 50th anniversary shows in the UK. The Stones fans have paid between R1330 & R5250 per ticket - prices the band clearly dreamed up after getting high on a combination of their hemorrhoid cream & bladder incontinence pills.
UK Bon Jovi fans however, can relive all things 80s for just R175. That's pretty darn cheap actually!

Rob Hallett, Bon Jovi's UK tour promoter from AEG Live, said the band felt rock fans were being priced out of the market and were determined to act.

He said: "I was delighted when they came to me insisting on ticket prices for the Because We Can tour next year that enabled all to attend."

"If we are to survive as an industry we need to move away from the elitist image of high prices and even higher secondary prices [for tickets resold].

"After all, rock and roll always was and always should be the music of the people, and that means everyone."

A Bon Jovi source added to the Daily Mirror newspaper: "We are in the middle of a ­recession and that's why the band think £12.50 is perfect."
(Source: news24.com)

Now either the Bon Jovi guys are wonderful & generous, or they are smart businessmen who know that this plan is a safe bet that will allow them to support their ageing rock star lifestyles.

South African Bon Jovi fans are not so lucky however: tickets for the Johannesburg & Cape Town concerts range from R300 to R1000, which is pretty steep for local pockets that have also been affected by the recession.

Clearly Big Concerts , big hair & big generosity don't go together too well...

Woolworths stop shaving their chickens

Supervillains need to eat, much like camels, fish, minions & other such things like the rest of the human race.
So I noticed at my local Woolworths store the other day (while shopping for SuperVillainous Supplies), that they've changed the name of some of their products in what can only be an attempt to comply with some ridiculous guilt-free guidelines on product marketing:
Woolworths are no longer shaving their chickens, pigs, turkeys & cows it seems - because obviously that is politically incorrect & suggests that they torture the animals before they slaughter them in cold blood for the sake of their hungry, meat-eating customers.
Gone are the packs of shaved/sliced ham & chicken; now we have skinny poultry & meat in the form of "Wafer Thin" packs.
So shaving your farm animals is out, but keeping them skinny & cat-walk ready is fine. Just as long as they don't sound tortured before they're killed for the dinner table...

No squirrels with guns, but lots of raptors at Eddie Izzard

So my abs were suitably worked last night at Eddie Izzard - the man is BRILLIANT! I can only hope that he returns to South Africa on a regular basis now.
The material was familiar in a sense that he touched on some classics & old favourites, but everything had a new approach & spin on it.
I attended the extra show that was slotted in at the last minute - all his Johannesburg shows were sold out.
Hopefully he'll realise that he has a wide audience in the country & return next year.

Top Gear Live is only for skinny people

Because those seats are TINY! I'm 1.72m tall & 55kgs - and even I felt very squished...

All in all, the live show is pretty cool, although next year I will sit much closer to the front because the sound at the back isn't that great.
Pros:

• Unbelievable stunt driving in a very small space
• The tickets were a gift - not paying for something like that is pretty cool
• Jeremy Clarkson & James May are funny (even if you can tell they're a bit tired of saying the same joke for the 11th time)
• Audience participation ideas were damn nifty
• Drool-worthy vehicles
• They played soccer with cars & the dents were cool - some staged moves but still great to watch
• The loop of death was awesome!
• 
  
• The Stig!!! - though I think it was one of the stunt drivers who'd stolen Stig's clothes in a vain attempt to score some chicks.
• Up close & personal with the hot cars in the exhibition
• James May & Jeremy Clarkson in person!
• Some nice pyrotechnics

Cons:

• Merchandise was ridiculously expensive! - R200 for a cardboard cut-out of the Stig (I almost beat up a little rich kid who had one...), R100 for a mug or a little keyring!!!
• Sasha Martinengo as a lame replacement for Richard Hammond (I'm not a Sasha fan)
• No Richard Hammond :-(
• Not enough of the Stig
• Stig "skit/gameshow-thingy" was a lame idea - could've been better
• Sound quality wasn't 100%

Will I go again: YES!
Next time I will take a cushion, sit in the front row for some leg room & hope that Richard Hammond is there ;-)

Legal and legit yeah!

So I'm finally a legal biker again, after getting my learner's license yesterday morning at the most impressive testing centre in Johannesburg; Wetshoven in Aukland Park. Yeeha!
I don't have to get creative with my routes for the next 18 months, during which i intend to get my bike driver's license - never having to repeat the process of writing a learner's license again.
For those international readers, the process of obtaining a Learner's Permit is a painful and time-consuming task here in South Africa.
In the Gauteng province, you must phone a call centre first, to apply for a Learner's Permit. Thankfully the role of the call centre has changed and they merely give you a reference number now, as apposed to booking the test for you.
Previously the call centre would take your details and book the test date for you, with a waiting period of anywhere between 3-6 months before writing the test. You could not specify the testing centre's location, nor could you make a booking for more than one person.
The issue was that tons of people phoned the call centre, made a booking & never arrived at the venue to write. Of course, the call centre's system would show that the venue was full for that day & as a result, testing centres were often mostly empty despite the "fully booked" status on the system.
This resulted in people queuing from 6am in the morning at testing centres in a desperate hope to write the test for their Learner's Permit at some point during that day or any following day that the testing centre could manage.
WHAT A MESS!
There still seems to be a huge mess with regards to the procedure & such, with other testing centres having long waiting lists. Fortunately the testing centre I went to is far more organised than others, operates for a few hours on a Saturday morning and is not as crowded as others. Hoorah!
But now to the test:
Out of a class of 35-40 people, around half failed the test, which is a very easy test to do! I understand that there are many individuals who do not have the same reading, writing & comprehension skills as most, due to a disadvantage in education when they were growing up - those individuals are excempt from my comments that follow.
The test is available in four of the 11 official languages of the country & I'm certain those languages change in accordance to relevancy & location.
There are many individuals who fail the test numerous times, rewriting & rewriting until eventually (by a stroke of luck perhaps) they pass.
Do we want those individuals on the road?
Honestly, the test is not that difficult! How on earth are those individuals going to safely operate a vehicle if they cannot get even the basics right, before they've even gotten into the vehicle?!?!
If they do not know the rules of the road, do not know the meanings of road signs & are not sure of the controls of a vehicle (which are the 3 sections covered by the test) they are not going to be safe drivers on our roads!
Why are we allowing people to legally get behind the wheel with little (if any) theoretical competancy?
And for those who will answer with the typical reply: "we must not discriminate against those individuals who are perhaps less academically capable than others", I have this to say; it's not a matter of discrimination, it's a mater of public safety! A person who does not have a good grasp of the road rules, should not be on the road! They will be a danger to themselves, any passengers they may have, other drivers, pedestrians, etc etc!
There are so many atrocious drivers on our roads & we wonder why. Aside from the fact that many drivers obtain their license & permits via bribery of traffic officials, the traffic department is giving incompetant people permission to drive on our road.
It's down right crazy!