Life's SO hard when you're popular...

... so many people, such little time!
That's probably what the Father of Our Nation (aka Steve Hofmeyr) is thinking right now!
That's because Die Hoff is so unbelievably popular, that he barely has the time to manage the burdensome popularity that fame has brought.
This is, of course, thanks to the legions of fans worldwide, who snap up his award-winning music & make it impossible for him to live a normal life - like being able to pop down to the Sasol in his stokies, for a late night cigarette run.
But, as with all big celebrities, Steve Hofmeyr has an agent & a contingency of staff to deal with the stuff that he's too popular for. Anything from doing his laundry, organising his backstage 'poppies' for after the show, to managing his marketing & booking his spot on the next Treffers album.
But when it comes to his online presence, Die Hoff has a more hands-on approach it seems...
Hofmeyr's Wikipedia page was recently hacked by someone whose distaste for Die Hoff is well-matched by their sense of humour.
Yesterday the page featured some funny edits, including the line that Steve is "a prominent member of the Mormon Church split group, known as The Morons, who believe members should conceive as many children with as many women as possible".
Like any popular celebrity, Hofmeyr has taken it in his stride, turning to Twitter to state that this type of thing happens almost every week & that Team Die Hoff don't even bother with corrections.
Clearly Team DH isn't a bunch of proactive people. It might have something to do with the fact that his music is probably played in the staff toilets...
Another amazing thing is that Steve Hofmeyr is just so incredibly popular & well-known, that his Wikipedia page is targeted almost every week! That's just incredible, considering how many South Africans have editing rights on Wikipedia.
What's also incredible is that according to the page's Revision History, there are plenty of weeks where the page hasn't been touched, at all.
Yes, life's very hard when you're as popular as Steve Hofmeyr, because sometimes the overwhelming demands of being a celebrity cause you to forget the minor details of your fame...

The Supervillain Guide to Torture

Being a Supervillain is tough - especially if you're doing it part time while you work to support your alter-ego lifestyle. Sometimes you have to rely on ready-made solutions, which is why I'm so excited about the launch of DSTv's new Afrikaans music channel kykNET Musiek.
Here's a simple solution for Supervillains looking for a quick-fix torture method. Now you can force victims of your superevil, supervillainy, to watch Steve Hoffmeyer assault Neil Diamond songs, all day long! Then there's other such local lyrical masters as Kurt Darren, Patricia Lewis & the revered Bles Bridges.
All you need is DSTv, a chair & a bit of rope - it really doesn't get much easier than this my fellow Supervillains!
This fantastic method is sure to leave deep scars in the depths of a victim's psyche, thanks to the 'polished' production used in many local music videos, the repetitive rhythms of Boere Orkes music & the bountiful archive of popular 'treffers' music that'll be on constant replay on the channel.
Never, ever look a cheap gift horse in the mouth!

Reality TV meets the Boerewors Curtain

Constipation is a serious matter!

According to News24, that Souff Efrikan stalwart Huisgenoot, is launching a reality TV series in which people will compete to win a job with the magazine for a year.

Huisegenoot are apparently looking for someone "who will be able to get involved with all aspects of the magazine". Read: we're looking for a lackey to work their arse off for us & do all the crappy jobs that no one else feels like doing.

Ask anyone who's worked at a magazine publisher before & they'll tell you that it's not all roses. In fact, it's more like dead, shredded roses with giant thorns that you're constantly pricking yourself on.

No doubt the series will be hugely popular with people across the country who live in the middle of nowhere (read: dorpies) & are stuck with DSTV as their only source of entertainment. These are the same people whose idea of literature is reading the 'romance' short stories in Huisegenoot, or the DSTV schedule guide.

In other words; I doubt there'll be many English viewers...

There will, however, be plenty of doe-eyed young dorpie girls entering, because it's been their life-long dream to be on TV & work at a fashion magazine. And they'll classify Huisgenoot as a fashion mag because they've seen some Mr Price items they've bought, featured in the mag. They'll also be the ones who get all their friends to 'like' their Facebook 'modelling' photos, in the hope that a renowned modelling agency or photographer will notice them & fly them over to Paris.

Now if I was a doe-eyed dorpie girl, I'd be very afraid of the judges. In fact, every potential competitor should be afraid; only 1 of them is smiling & looks friendly. The other two look constipated & disinterested. 

No good can come of this!