The Supervillain's Guide to Super Fashion: Part 1

Gone are the days of where you were considered fashionable if you wore your underwear on the outside of your spandex tights. These days it's all about high tech fabrics that keep you clothed & looking good while executing your villanous plans & photobombing Captain Awesome's frequent self portraits.
But unfortunately we must still be bombarded with 'fashion' that looks like a bunch of designers took LSD & then attempted to copy a 5-year-old's drawing of a fruit salad. Somewhere in between the chunks of pineapple & papaya, is a section dedicated to the love of 80s fashioin - a trend that has been assaulting our senses for too long now.
Which brings me to one of Groupon's latest offerings: the Designer Mullet Skirt.

• Firstly, the words 'designer' & 'mullet' have no place being grouped together like that. Use separate sentences or go home.
• Secondly, who wants to walk around looking like Billy Ray Cyrus got all Achy Breaky with some fabric on your sorry arse!
• Thirdly, the description says: "elasticated waist to ensure easy movement when out and about". Read: cheap manufacturing to ensure that it fits all sizes.
• Fourthly, they've used a Frankenmannequin - the hands don't match the arms. So clearly times are tough.
• Fifthly, one of the options on offer is a "Screw Mullet Skirt".

Yes, avoid at all costs!

Never gonna give up on the 80s

I have no idea how I missed this one, but it seems that there are enough people in South Africa to allow long-forgotten 80s artists the ability to stay abreast of plastic surgery trends & keep their Blue Steel pouts going strong.
It is worth noting, of course, that the venue for this 80s revival is in fact Mullet City, aka Centurion - where the Classic Mullet (the original that has been lovingly maintained over the past few decades) is joined by the Neo Mullet (the new & 'improved' version of the Classic) & the Telkom Mullet (a contractual obligation for Telkom employees of a certain age & language group).
No doubt Jacaranda (who else would organise something like this) is currently throwing free tickets at their listeners & probably organising local opening acts such as Steve Hoffmeyer & Patricia Lewis - who have unfortunately been around as long as the aforementioned hairstyle.
The ticket site's sales plug for the event is quite hilarious:
"Having this amount of International artists LIVE in one show makes this show the best value event of the year"
Of course at R700 a pop for Golden Circle tickets, one would expect to see current international artists at that "best value" price, but clearly plastic pout maintenance doesn't come cheap!
Also of note is the fact that the title should read "6 and a half International Acts" since Tony Hadley will be performing sans the remaining members of Spandau Ballet.
Fortunately for concert-goers, there's enough bad 80s fashion in stores for them to relive their golden days, although the neon tights might not fit so well anymore.

Sense, sensibility & popular mu$ic

The evolution of popular music is quite a fascinating topic. It's progress has been spurred on by technological developments like the widespread publishing of sheet music, radio broadcasting, music videos, youtube, digital media, etcetera, etcetera.
Of course, mainstream music is fueled by masses of fans, who buy into the marketing & media hype that is now the mu$ic machine, made popular because essentially; people like being dictated to.
Being dictated to means that you don't have to think much about what clothes you wear, how your hair looks, what car you drive, the places you eat at & what music you listen to. You spend most of your time finding out what people around you are into, & copying them...
Now, before you start throwing abuse my way, try to remember that I am talking about pop music in general. While there are some exceptions, the pop music scene is generally filled with carefully constructed products (in human form) that are designed to generate large amounts of income for record companies. The 'music' & 'lyrics' (& I use those in the loosest sense of the words) are meant to be catchy & easy to listen to. Constant repetition on radio stations means that while you may not like it initially, eventually it'll grow on you & then you'll find yourself singing it in the shower or the car on the way to work.
In essence, popular music is much like fashion: a minority group of 'experts' dictate to the masses, telling them what is 'good'. The masses eagerly lap it up & overnight make it look like it was their idea in the first place.
In the words of Madonna: mu$ic makes the people come together...

At this point I'd like to remind you of what else the 'experts' & the masses have considered a good idea in the past: Hitler, George W. Bush, Justin Bieber, Milli Vanilli, mullets, plastic shoes, blood-letting, the Crusades, hydrogen-filled airships, etcetera, etcetera.
Just because it's popular, doesn't mean that it's 'good' by default. Take a sober look at today's so-called "chart-toppers" & you'll see what I mean.