Wednesday, 20 May 2009

Supervillainous Skivvies

One thing I've always wondered since I was a child (& I was introduced to the universe of superheros & supervillains) was; who on earth makes their awesome costumes? Those outfits are styled, cut & stitched so well that Christian Lacroix is apple green with envy.
How do they do this???
Consider the fact that the majority of superheros & supervillains are men, & then contemplate the fashion & tailoring skills of the average male...
It won't take long for you to draw your own conclusions, which I'm sure will overlap with some of mine. So either:
  1. All superheros & supervillains are secretly dying to have their creations hung on a bunch of skeletons & strutted down the runways of Milan & New York.
  2. All superheros & supervillains had sweet grandmothers who owned a haberdashery & instructed them in the ways of sewing & tailoring.
  3. All male superheros & supervillains are far too in touch with their feminine side.
  4. All superheros & supervillains hang around at fabric shops on a regular basis & know exactly where to get that industrial-strength spandex.
  5. The guidebook How To Make Your Super Costume becomes available immediately on your induction into the Super Society of your choice (be it Heros or Villains). This guidebook is obviously strictly regulated & distribution is monitored by a super-secret society (much like the elusive Illuminati - but these guys don't have anything to do with the American dollar bill, the pyramids or Lara Croft).
Or
  • Every single superhero or supervillain has at least one special power (yes, even the "powerless ones" like Batman).
    This power is the power to create a signature super-special super-outfit to distinguish yourself from the rest of society. This does mean that it is quite possible that all superheros & supervillains are simply following their careers as a result of a need to express their own unique sense of fashion.
So ultimately if you intend to chose supervillainy or superheroism as a career choice, you'd better be good with a needle & thread.

I'm still wondering if Batman has the bat symbol on his undies & who does the screen-printing for that...

1 comment:

Nicole Sparrow said...

The real question is does Batman handwash his monogramed undies or does the do them on the delicate cycle in the machine?
Cut to image of Batty sitting in the bath washing his underpants. Apparently, Pik Botha used to do the same.