Supervillain Snippets

Where a criminal record is a prerequisite for staff.
Will have to look at recruiting minions from here...

The Supervillain's Guide to Super Fashion: Part 1

Gone are the days of where you were considered fashionable if you wore your underwear on the outside of your spandex tights. These days it's all about high tech fabrics that keep you clothed & looking good while executing your villanous plans & photobombing Captain Awesome's frequent self portraits.
But unfortunately we must still be bombarded with 'fashion' that looks like a bunch of designers took LSD & then attempted to copy a 5-year-old's drawing of a fruit salad. Somewhere in between the chunks of pineapple & papaya, is a section dedicated to the love of 80s fashioin - a trend that has been assaulting our senses for too long now.
Which brings me to one of Groupon's latest offerings: the Designer Mullet Skirt.

• Firstly, the words 'designer' & 'mullet' have no place being grouped together like that. Use separate sentences or go home.
• Secondly, who wants to walk around looking like Billy Ray Cyrus got all Achy Breaky with some fabric on your sorry arse!
• Thirdly, the description says: "elasticated waist to ensure easy movement when out and about". Read: cheap manufacturing to ensure that it fits all sizes.
• Fourthly, they've used a Frankenmannequin - the hands don't match the arms. So clearly times are tough.
• Fifthly, one of the options on offer is a "Screw Mullet Skirt".

Yes, avoid at all costs!

The Supervillain's Guide to Legacy

My favourite African dictator is at it again - providing us with a fantastic example of Supervillainy.
Surprise, surprise: Robert Mugabe has once again been 'chosen' as Zanu-PF's presidential candidate for next year's 'elections' in Zimbabwe. This was after super-gluing the presidential crown to his head, just before the announcement at a party conference.
After the announcement, Mugabe took to the stage to tell his supporters that their free T-shirts & food would be made available after the conference had ended, & that Zanu-PF would fight like a "wounded beast" to "win all our power back".
His show of determination is certainly inspiring, as is the story that his talented son is being discriminated against. Mugabe's wife Grace, took the opportunity to inform journalists at the conference that their eldest son Robert (19) has had to abandon his dreams of becoming a famous basketball star in the US, due to sanctions against him.

"We had to sit him down and explain that he cannot join a club playing in the US college league because of the sanctions. It hurt him because there was a lot of interest in him, but now he understands what it means to be the son of President Mugabe,"

Oddly enough the Telegraph reports that none of Mugabe's offspring are listed on any US or European sanction lists. It also reports that Mugabe's son failed his 'A' levels.
If his father has taught him one thing, it must be perseverance. Persevere & obtain your goal, and don't worry how you achieve it. And if you can't obtain your goal, just resort to violence & intimidation to get it.
Yes, now there's a legacy worth continuing...

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