Wear Yoda's shoes???

No, not that pair! Because if Yoda did wear shoes (which he doesn't btw), they'd be as old as he is & probably just as stinky - cos you know Yoda doesn't bath & you can't tell me that he uses The Force for that fresh just-been-yanked-from-my-cosy-family-life padawan smell!
So somehow (& I really am wondering how on earth this particular collaboration happened) Adidas & Star Wars have come together in the form of Star Wars-themed street sport apparel.
I must say, that as a Star Wars fan, some of the stuff is pretty cool - like the t-shirts. Of course, if Adidas can take Star Wars apparel into mainstream street fashion and make it cool, then maybe the middle-aged fanboy hermits who have been wearing pictures of Leia's slave outfit on their backs since their teenage years, can fit in a little more.
Then again, maybe not.
Either way, this is just another example of how cool Star Wars is in comparison to Star Trek.
You see, if Adidas came out with Star Trek gear, nerds would rejoice at being able to buy 10 versions of the same shirt 6 months later in a surplus store.
But there is one item from the line that scares me: the Yoda sneaker/moccasin hybrid pictured here. They're ugly, really ugly. In fact, fugly is a perfect description.
They look like something very old men wear when they go for a walk through their retirement complex. Yeah, you know the ones I'm talking about.
Check out some nice picks of what's available in the range over at starwars.com or click on the picture of Yoda's Old Man Fogey shoes above, to check out the lame advert from Adidas.

Things to be grateful for:

1) Be grateful for the fact that the world is full of potential minions. Thankfully, there's lots of mooks too - which are always handy to have in your SuperVillain Campaign.
Unfortunately there are lots of quacks out there & so, its always good to be grateful for not having your SuperVillainous Evil Plans being messed up by such individuals.
Good examples of those individuals can be seen in the points below.

2) Be grateful for the enigma that is the human brain, for it is an endless source of ideas.

If you have ever found yourself worried about advanced alien technology that can read your innermost thoughts - fear no more!
Thanks to a US "technical writer for a government agency" there is a solution: an anti-alien spying & abduction helmet invented by a professor no less!
I've already ordered mine & I can't wait for it to arrive because my tinfoil hats are just getting too expensive to keep making & they don't last long anyways.
Finally I will have a long-lasting anti-alien thought-spying device to protect me from their probes.
I can't tell you what a difference this will make in my life, but here's an idea: about as much difference as listening to David Hasselhoff's music.

3) Be grateful for the fact that certain individuals never leave the borders of their country of origin.
A few examples of said individuals can be found here.

Brits weigh in on handbags

There are individuals out there who paddle upstream, defying trends & opinions to blaze a trail into new territory. Sometimes they are pioneers & sometimes they are people with a lot more money than sense.
While scientists, doctors, organisations & other societies are throwing money, time & effort into such things as cancer & AIDS research, there's always those select few who feel that its the little things that make all the difference in life.
Cue the "researchers" at Debenhams, a British department store who felt it was vitally important to study the weight of women's handbags & how that has evolved over time due to technological advances.
Their "studies" (& I use that in the loosest sense of the word, because I have no idea how on earth they conducted their research & my imaginings are quite hilarious I must tell you) show that because gadgets have gotten smaller & lighter, women's handbags are weighing less over time.
Wow. I would never have thought of that myself. Thank goodness they pointed it out to me. I feel enlightened, & so does my handbag...
Its teams like this that we simply cannot live without - where would we be if they weren't throwing money at research like this? I mean, forget disease, hunger, poverty - women's handbags are so much more important & everything seems trivial in comparison.

Supervillain advice: Faking it

Getting caught is a SuperVillain's nightmare, because sometimes there is no escape from the spandexed grip of Captain Goody-Two-Shoes and his carefully-coordinated outfit & matching mode of transportation.
Sometimes, you get locked up in a SuperVillain-proof cell, specially tweaked to counteract your Super Villainous Powers where it can take ages before an opportunity for escape arrives. And if the wait is too long, you do what any smart SuperVillain would do: fake an illness or an episode of psychosis.
Which leads me to my next bit of advice - If you're going to fake an illness, don't blow the act by going on luxury shopping sprees, golf days & exclusive holidays at expensive hotels.

The Mail and Guardian Online has confirmed what every South African has known for a long time now: Schabir Shaik has been faking it all along.
The publication managed to get their hands on the medical reports that were submitted in support of Mr Shaik's parole application & from the sounds of things, they are quite telling...
Now starts the witch hunt to find out exactly who knowingly helped healthy Shaik orchestrate his charade.
Hopefully heads will roll for this one.

Go see Avatar now!

If you haven't seen Avatar yet, get off your butt & see it now! And if you've already seen it, go & see it again. And if you've already seen it twice, go & see it in 3d!
It is 162 minutes of stunningly beautiful escapism that will go down in history as a landmark in the evolution of cinema and computer animation.
So far the film has grossed a total of $1.424 billion, and for good reason.
Almost every frame is a work of art and there are so many scenes that simply take your breath away.
Plot-wise, the film is nothing special. We have scene this story hundreds of times:
In the midst of a clash of different civilisations, an individual crosses over and finds himself protecting the very people he was sent to destroy.
Normally I would be groaning about how predictable the plot is and that the journey to the conclusion was a boring one, peppered with painfully obvious steps and methods.
As a viewer, I enjoy being surprised, and if a movie can take me through a good plot, develop some good characters and surprise me, then I am thrilled at the end of it.
While you do know what is coming in Avatar, there's still some guesswork involved because the world is so alien and unlike anything you would consider normal.
It's the world and the environment that truly makes this movie spectacular, because James Cameron has displayed its nuances & characteristics to us, immersing our senses in it by paying such acute attention to detail.
The motion capture is incredible, but the biggest difference between Avatar & other feature films that have utilised the same tech is that the facial muscle movements are spot on. The small details are so good that you never find yourself thinking: "the mouths just don't move properly when characters talk" or "small gestures are a bit stiff".
You can read more about how the flawless motion capture was achieved on Avatar's Wikipedia page, as well as some other interesting details about the making of the movie.
Despite the fact that I kept thinking of the struggle between the settlers and the native Indians in North America during the American Indian Wars (1622-1918), I can forget the Pocahontas and Dances with Wolves similarities because Avatar is a true movie fan's movie: it takes the audience on an exciting journey to a place they have never been before.
And that, is what movies should do.

Eddie Izzard is coming to South Africa! - bring on the National Riffle Association

I have my ticket & I'm going dressed as a squirrel with a gun!
Ok, so I'm not going dressed as a raving mad, furry creature. But I am going to see him live & I can't wait.
Tickets are damn expensive (if you're earning Rands), so I'll be eating cans of baked beans and tinned tuna for the next 2 months. -cough cough-
But the money will be going to a good cause - Eddie's Eyeliner Fund.
Actually, it'll be going to Nelson Mandela's 46664 global HIV/AIDS awareness campaign.
Either way, I'm delighted at the prospect of seeing my favourite comedian live at the Johannesburg Civic Theatre. It's definitely one of those once-in-a-lifetime opportunities that you just can't miss.

Crocodiles & wheelchairs don't mix

Sometimes signs can be very misleading...
Generally when there is a warning sign or if something is prohibited, there is a very distinct line through the sign, drawing your attention to the fact that the behaviour depicted is either illegal, or simply not a good idea.
In the case of the sign above (which I found in a crocodile park in St Lucia) the sign seems to defy the usual standards of signage and in fact seems to encourage the depicted behaviour.
In short, the sign seems to say: if you are accompanied by anyone in a wheelchair, please push them downhill towards the waiting crocodiles and ask them to scream open-mouthed on their way down.
Unfortunately, I was unable to comply with the sign due to the fact that there was a lack of wheelchair-bound individuals at the time.
Pity...

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Or is that absinthe???

Yes, it's been a loooooooong time I know. But I'm making an effort to post regularly again. Don't ask me why I haven't been around for so long - it's got something to do with alien abduction.