Lessons from Kuwait on how to offend people

Everyone makes mistakes. Even supervillains make mistakes.
There are also times when you should just pretend that your mistake was deliberate & all part of your supervillainous plan to take over the world!
Case in point: a recent medal ceremony at a shooting event in Kuwait (10th Arab Shooting Championship), saw organisers playing the incorrect anthems for Kazakhstan & Serbia. Unfortunately the anthem they did play for the Kazakhstan champ was the fake national anthem from the film Borat,
The film caused such an offence in Kazakhstan that it was eventually banned from the country & the government apparently threatened Sasha Baron Cohen with legal action....
Nice one guys!
Of course, they say it was downloaded by accident - so either they have just learned the hard way that one should seriously review the torrents you search for & download, or someone pulled off a brilliant but premature April Fool's.


My guess is that somewhere, someone is having the last laugh & it's a side-splitting one!

Reality TV meets the Boerewors Curtain

Constipation is a serious matter!

According to News24, that Souff Efrikan stalwart Huisgenoot, is launching a reality TV series in which people will compete to win a job with the magazine for a year.

Huisegenoot are apparently looking for someone "who will be able to get involved with all aspects of the magazine". Read: we're looking for a lackey to work their arse off for us & do all the crappy jobs that no one else feels like doing.

Ask anyone who's worked at a magazine publisher before & they'll tell you that it's not all roses. In fact, it's more like dead, shredded roses with giant thorns that you're constantly pricking yourself on.

No doubt the series will be hugely popular with people across the country who live in the middle of nowhere (read: dorpies) & are stuck with DSTV as their only source of entertainment. These are the same people whose idea of literature is reading the 'romance' short stories in Huisegenoot, or the DSTV schedule guide.

In other words; I doubt there'll be many English viewers...

There will, however, be plenty of doe-eyed young dorpie girls entering, because it's been their life-long dream to be on TV & work at a fashion magazine. And they'll classify Huisgenoot as a fashion mag because they've seen some Mr Price items they've bought, featured in the mag. They'll also be the ones who get all their friends to 'like' their Facebook 'modelling' photos, in the hope that a renowned modelling agency or photographer will notice them & fly them over to Paris.

Now if I was a doe-eyed dorpie girl, I'd be very afraid of the judges. In fact, every potential competitor should be afraid; only 1 of them is smiling & looks friendly. The other two look constipated & disinterested. 

No good can come of this!

Where's the line on personal information?

I recently read an article on News24 about an American who'd been asked for his Facebook profile login & password during an interview.
Now, employees have been snooping around & checking out the social profiles of their employees (both current & potential) for a while now. Background checks are also common, but the question is; where is the line that marks "invasion of privacy"?
Anyone who accesses Facebook's site is subject to their Terms of use, wherein it states that: "You will not solicit login information or access an account belonging to someone else." 
While this is a great principle, someone who is desperate for employment is probably not going to refuse to hand over login details to someone he/she hopes is about to give them a job.
There's also the question of whether companies will start paying Facebook to access information on potential employees. Which isn't much different from the idea of 'strategic partners' who already have access to your information & make suggestions like what other music artists you might like, or places you might want to shop at.

Of course, reverse the situation & things get rather one-sided.

How does an individual do a background check on a company? Specially when people are being asked to sign agreements that restrict them from making any public comments about the organisation, specifically when it comes to publishing those comments on social media sites.

While companies may have the money to hire someone to investigate individuals, it's highly unlikely that the average person has the money to hire someone to investigate the company in return & question the happiness of its current employees.

In other words, individuals don't have much hope against the big guys & what they dictate. Unless loads of individuals band together, act as a unit & revolt against the 'authorities'. 

It can happen & when it does, the dictators don't stand a chance.

The other side of the coin is questioning just how much information employers have a right to know before they hire you. What if the potential employee is a peodophile? What if they have engaged in illegal activities such as drug abuse or theft of a previous employer's property?

When is it okay to snoop & how much information should they snoop on?

It's highly debatable. 

While people's private activities are their own business, after-hour activities can have a direct or indirect affect on your work. If you're arrested, or you land up in hospital, the business is affected. And that's essentially the risk that organisations are trying to avoid.

However, the methods of risk management that some companies are using, are not the best.

So what is the best approach?

It's a hard question to answer & something that organisations should seriously be considering in the age of social media. In fact, organisations should probably consider things like social media & potential employees in their overall Risk Management Strategy.

Certainly the best approach is not to ask someone for their username & password during an interview!

Sense, sensibility & popular mu$ic

The evolution of popular music is quite a fascinating topic. It's progress has been spurred on by technological developments like the widespread publishing of sheet music, radio broadcasting, music videos, youtube, digital media, etcetera, etcetera.
Of course, mainstream music is fueled by masses of fans, who buy into the marketing & media hype that is now the mu$ic machine, made popular because essentially; people like being dictated to.
Being dictated to means that you don't have to think much about what clothes you wear, how your hair looks, what car you drive, the places you eat at & what music you listen to. You spend most of your time finding out what people around you are into, & copying them...
Now, before you start throwing abuse my way, try to remember that I am talking about pop music in general. While there are some exceptions, the pop music scene is generally filled with carefully constructed products (in human form) that are designed to generate large amounts of income for record companies. The 'music' & 'lyrics' (& I use those in the loosest sense of the words) are meant to be catchy & easy to listen to. Constant repetition on radio stations means that while you may not like it initially, eventually it'll grow on you & then you'll find yourself singing it in the shower or the car on the way to work.
In essence, popular music is much like fashion: a minority group of 'experts' dictate to the masses, telling them what is 'good'. The masses eagerly lap it up & overnight make it look like it was their idea in the first place.
In the words of Madonna: mu$ic makes the people come together...

At this point I'd like to remind you of what else the 'experts' & the masses have considered a good idea in the past: Hitler, George W. Bush, Justin Bieber, Milli Vanilli, mullets, plastic shoes, blood-letting, the Crusades, hydrogen-filled airships, etcetera, etcetera.
Just because it's popular, doesn't mean that it's 'good' by default. Take a sober look at today's so-called "chart-toppers" & you'll see what I mean.

The rules of a breakup

source: www.good.is

I came across this little cartoon/illustration earlier today & it made me smile.
I can totally relate, as of 4 weeks ago when (after almost a year) I experienced one of the most ridiculous breakups in the book - in fact, it's so unbelievably stupid that it really does belong in a book. Or on a brick, thrown through a certain idiot's window.
But alas, I have managed to restrain myself & find rather creative ways to vent my frustration on the matter. Details & pics of these will probably eventually find their way onto here ;-)
It has, however, reminded me of how vital it is to retain your sense of humour, even through the bad times. It's also important to find someone who truly appreciates your sense of humour, can laugh at themselves & doesn't take life too seriously.
So enjoy the illustration, I know we've all been there :-)

The 3 "P"s: People, Passwords & Protection

A colleague of mine is pretty old-school. She's not as bad as her technophobe husband, but still; she writes down everything the IT support guys tell her. And I mean everything...
She once gave me the alarm code & then asked if I needed to write it down. Of course, I have 2 issues with that kind of thing; 1) unless you have the memory capacity of a tadpole, remembering 4 digits for roughly 30 minutes isn't hard & 2) writing a pass code down on a piece of paper is not secure!
This brings me to her recent revelation about passwords to a new member of staff. Apparently the "greatest risk" to companies "right now" is the hacking of their intellectual property.
While I agree that the security of IP is a risk that organisations & individuals should be concerned about, I think it is one of a few major risks, but not the biggest risk out there. Events in recent years have shown that things like floods, earthquakes, tsunamis, economic crises & planes flying into buildings, can have equally devastating effects on organisations - even countries!
But, moving along to the most shocking part of the revelation: Mrs Meticulous (as henceforth she shall be known) keeps a file on her laptop with her login passwords to sites she uses. Said file is in .doc format & for extra added security, the name is purposefully unrelated to the word "password" or any of its associations.
So instead of typing in her password every time, she copies & pastes her username and password into the login fields.
Her reasoning for this is that "people can hack or monitor while you type, but they can't hack your copy & paste".
Riiiiight!
The Windows clipboard can be 'hacked', specially if you're using Internet Explorer - made even more easily accessible by the fact that she is running a much older version of Windows too!
Not only that - but Mrs Meticulous has a file with login details stored on the laptop! She also has written notes kept in a little plastic A4 folder on her desk. The notes contain ALL her passwords, access details to all the laptops, the company server & the router...
It's like going away on holiday & leaving your house keys outside, next to a sign that says: "Free entry. All welcome".
The lack of common sense here astounds me!
Unfortunately Ms Meticulous is not alone in this. There are numerous people who throw caution to the wind when it comes to IT-related matters & don't apply simple logic to situations.
Yes, computers, gadgets & the internet may at times be complex, but simple common sense can go a long way!
So get some & apply it!

PS: Ms Meticulous also keeps a file on her laptop with all her family & company credit card details...!

Grin & Bear Grylls it

So everyone's favourite Macguyver guy Bear Grylls has apparently been fired by the Discovery Channel over "contract disputes"
Oddly enough, I saw an unrelated article on him earlier today & was reminded of how much he freaks me out.
I have no idea how his wife copes - he exposes his body & his mouth to all manner of gross things & frankly I wouldn't touch him with a 30ft pole, for fear that his frog or zebra breath would overpower me at that distance.
I can't imagine what happens when he gets home after one of his trips, but if it was me, I'd confine him to a decontamination chamber for a good few days first, insist that he scrubs his mouth out with bicarb, bleach & dettol repeatedly, and ensure that his entire body is scrubbed raw with all manner of cleaning chemicals over & over.
While you can find plenty of information on Bear Grylls' accomplishments & expeditions, I'd love to see a list of all the diseases & illnesses he's managed to pick up during his illustrious career as the Man Who Will Eat Anything.
But while I'm not much of a fan, I'm sure Grylls will have tons of offers from other broadcasting channels who are keen to cash in on his willingness to go naked in inhospitable environments.
Until then, people will just have to settle for reruns. :-)

Well I would've succeeded, if it wasn't for those pesky Ozzy spies!

So it was revealed today that a squadron of super-skilled, super-secret Australian SAS soldiers have been "operating at large in Africa, performing work normally done by spies".

Apparently, their "operations have raised serious concerns within the Australian military and intelligence community because they involve countries where Australia is not at war."

Really????

This explains a few things, like back in December 2008 when Robert Mugabe said that the cholera outbreak in Zimbabwe was a result of British & American forces poisoning their pristine water supplies...

These guys must've been pretty busy over the last few years, what with all the cholera outbreaks across Zimbabwe - so much poisoning to do & such little time! Plus it must've been hard putting on American or British accents with their thick ozzie ones.

So while these Bruces have been mucking about across Africa, how on earth did the Australian government not notice that an entire SAS squadron chose Harare as their top holiday destination?!?!?
And what exactly have they been doing in Nigeria, Zimbabwe & Kenya - investigating the countries for strategic sheep purposes???
In the words of Steve Irwin: "Crikey mate! What a whopper!"

Of Mars & Men

So over the weekend I went to see 2 completely different movies: John Carter & Safe House.
The first, John Carter (henceforth known as JC) has been getting all sorts of mixed press. Apparently the movie has been on the cards for 100 years, with this year being a century since the first story by Edgar Rice Burroughs was published.
So in other words, it's the platinum jubilee of the character JC - he's been 'alive' for 40 years longer than the Queen has been on the throne. Fortunately Taylor Kitsch is much more pleasing on the eye than Her Majesty & he doesn't wave like someone's actually forcing him to, with a puppeteer's stick attached at the elbow.
Another fortunate thing about the movie is that Willem Dafoe's animated alien creature is far less scary-looking than he is in real life.
All in all the movie is 1 big great adventure & lots of fun. I keep seeing bad reviews for it where people say: "but it's not Avatar." Of course in my opinion, going to a movie entitled John Carter & looking for skinny blue people & Sigourney Weaver is a little daft.
Go watch John Carter & expect adventurous fun & the elements of classic Victorian sci-fi.

As for Safe House, it was filmed in Cape Town, of all places. So there are plenty of Souff Efrikan elements that'll keep you chuckling through the movie.
Basically, it's Denzel Washington in yet another one of his stereotypical roles, so expect to see him as you've never always seen him before! Ryan Reynolds on the other hand, manages to prove that he can act - after his annoying performance in Green Lantern.
Plot-wise it's predictable, right down to identity of the bad guy - the writers & directors have clearly taken a lot of cues from the Borne movies, including the gritty hand-held camera style.
On the whole, it was fun to watch, but I think that's because I kept chuckling at the local elements and how quickly & competently the police responded to crime scenes. Take out those amusing elements & I think I would've fallen asleep in the cinema, or resorted to throwing popcorn at my fellow movie-goers.
Also, watching Ryan Reynolds praat die taal is damn hilarious! But save Safe House for your dvd rental night & go watch John Carter on the big screen :-)

Only the Japanese...

Women who have just finished ovulating are better at detecting snakes than at other times of their menstrual cycle, according to an unusual study that sheds light on in-built reflexes for survival.
Nobuo Masataka of Japan's Kyoto University tested 60 healthy women of child-bearing age at three different phases of their cycle

 Really?!?!?
So how quickly you spot snakes depends on whether you're female & what time of the month it is. Also of note is the fact that Japan is not known for snakes & is still recovering from a devastating tsunami that left 13 500 dead.
Surely there are other ways to spend your time...?

Sometimes SuperVillains get busy & distracted... for long periods of time

So it's been ages, I mean AGES since I posted regularly.
I blame it on lots of personal ups & downs & pure laziness.
I need to start writing again because soon there'll be tons of stuff happening that I'll really want to share...
For now, it's back to a SuperVillain take on local & international happenings.